Bxdty

Not sure if I'm off-base here. My colleague has a habit of asking people questions just as they are getting out of their seat. I feel like I've noticed at least one another person express impatience at this, and wonder if it's something that would be felt as off-putting by most (American) workers in an office environment.

To give more context, I work in a small dev team of 2 to 4, as the unofficial lead. The developer in question is very kind and considerate, soft-spoken and a bit shy. I can understand he may not be totally comfortable interrupting others when they seem focused on their screen. He tends to say, "Quick question" (though very politely), but proceeds to explain a situation to that often requires one to look over his shoulder, sometimes navigate him on Vim, even sit down for a bit. Frequently I did say things like, "Hang on, let me run to the kitchen first," hoping eventually he'd find other times to ask.

Is this something worth having a chat with him about, i.e. Would you say most would consider this behavior potentially rude or off-putting? Or is it more of a personal "pet peeve" that would make me appear overly sensitive or controlling to bring up.

On one hand, if it's not just me, then I'd like to guide him to use a different approach without hurting his feelings. On the other hand, if it's just me, then I wonder what I can do to change my own perception or become more receptive to his preference.

As the lead of the team, it is part of your job to help your team mates from a technical perspective when they need guidance. ( as you well know )

Based on what I have read and perhaps implied from your question, I think what your experiencing is that your team isn't sure the best way to ask you for help, as they are trying to also minimizing the impact of you getting your tasks done.

I would suggest, if you haven't tried this already, to send an email to your team explaining what your preferred mechanism of communication is in regards to requests for assistance. This way the team knows your preference, and hopefully will respect your wishes.

I do not think this suggestion will cure all of your ailments, I do however think it will help.

To specifically answer your question, its only partially in your head. ;-)

This guy goes to much trouble to not to break your flow. Probably, as he stumbles on something, he fights the impulse to ask you immediately. Then he formulates the question quietly. Then he silently proceeds to other activities, while constantly monitoring if you still seem busy at your desk. He also knows that e-mail/IM is not a very effective tool to explain things.

Putting away the nonconstructive question if the behavior can be judged as rude, I think it would be reasonable to agree with him (as well as other teammates) on a visual flag. This would give you a very non-intrusive way of arranging your discussions.

• Whoever wants a discussion, raises a flag. I mean either literally a small flag or some substitute, like their tea cup placed on your desk for example.


• Once you are no longer busy with your computer you notice the flag and talk with them. Agree that you are not under obligation to react quickly or even on the same day. (It's important for both sides. He will not use this mechanism if he sees it interrupts you abruptly every time; and abrupt context switches are also bad for you.)


• They can raise the flag again after 2 hours or more; tune this timeout for the best overall productivity.

I'm guessing that the guy is just trying to be considerate, in a mis-guided way. As others have said, he thinks that when you get up, you are no longer focused on anything, so this is a good time for a question. Conversely, when you're sitting working, he doesn't want to bother you.

What he's missing is the fact that when you get up, it's because you need to go (perhaps urgently) somewhere else, even if it's only to the bathroom.

So, if you really do need to go somewhere else, you need to tell him this. It seems like you have difficulty cutting off his questions. That's a useful skill to develop. Here are a few ideas:

1. If you really need to go to the bathroom, grimace, cross your legs, and dance around a little. This should cause a pause in which you can say "gotta go".




2. Cut him off early. Most people start out with something like "can I ask you a quick question?". That's a good time to say "no" (nicely).




3. If he's already gotten started, and it looks like it's going to take too long, use the "time out" signal (make a "T" with your hands).




4. Point at your watch and then point out the door, towards the meeting you need to go to.




5. If you're going to a meeting, make a big production of gathering up all the things you need: pen, paper, laptop, phone. Even if you're just going out to lunch, you need car keys, phone, jacket, etc. This will make it clear that you're not just standing up, you're actually intending to go somewhere.

All the theatrics outlined above is a bit silly, really, and it might be better to just have a frank talk with the guy. Tell him that you've noticed he often asks you a question as you stand up. Tell him it's usually a bad time. The reason you stand up is because you need to go somewhere, which means you don't have time to properly answer his important question.

To answer your question ... it is not considered rude (as far as I know) to ask people questions as they stand up. This applies to all the countries I have lived in, including UK, US, Japan, China. But it's also not rude to say "good question, but now is not a good time, so let's discuss this when I get back".

He may mistakenly think it is a good time to ask as you are not in the middle of something if you are getting up.

Just say "I am heading out right now and I will get back with you when I return".

At the risk of repeating some points that have already been made, my guess is also that he's trying to do you a favor. Simply ask him why he does that. The answer may be delightful to you! And afterwards, a simple smile will do the trick as you say "I'll be back in a minute..."

What is missing in these answers is, as lead, you are responsible for the productivity of your team. If they are asking questions, it's usually because the tasks are above their level and things are not over-specified. This is generally good, it means that they must push their own performance to succeed, and that can be much more rewarding than cash compensation in the end.

If they are asking "too many" questions (a very subjective thing), it's probably because there's not enough organization, which starts with you. I've been on teams where people were fearful to ask questions of the lead for various reasons. As a contractor, about 50% of the teams I embed with could be more productive overall if the lead were more accessible (even as that accessibility came at a cost to the lead's own output). At times, I have done things the lead should have been doing, but that's okay, because again, the client can see the results with improved velocity. It's a very good discussion point with a personal leadership coach that the company should be glad to provide to you. Good luck!