How do I speak with a colleague/friend who is a bad listener?
I have a colleague/friend who I need to get through to. This person has a habit (gotten worse) of interrupting my work (I encouraged it, by laughing it off since I avoid confrontation/office politics). In essence, we use a lot of paper (paperless isn’t a reality). They continually barge in when I am scanning/copying (my workspace is near the machines for a reason) to use the machine I am using.
It’s a problem because whenever they barge in it takes me out of my workflow. I can offer to do that portion of the work for them, but they then complain they have the world on their shoulders and if I really want to help I will just let them use the machine to their heart’s content...they make it sound like they have Elon Musk level pressure on them.
I want to talk to this person; but they are not great listeners, nor do they have a great attention span – they lose interest in general. Their attention span isn’t there for an actual conversation, unfortunately. Any non-superficial topic (ie not related to clothes, relationships, or clubs) is a nonstarter.
I don’t want to escalate the situation by going above anyone’s head (we’re both far below CEO). I probably wouldn’t win that political battle (and likely lose a friend). I’m also not very “quick on my feet” verbally. The person is extremely good at navigating social constructs, but they are terrible at adapting to changes. They know their job specifics, but can’t care about the rationale behind it; they know the “what”, but the “why” is irrelevant.
Since we have different personalities in this respect (I believe in training/communicating for 1 hour, they believe is complaining/struggling for 5 hours), I really feel the best way to address this problem is by speaking with them. **Is there any way to speak with them in a way that they will listen? **
I am concerned they will brush off the conversation, if they bother to listen at all. As things stand, I have to totally work around their whims. It is frustrating.
tldr: How do I talk with a colleague/friend who is a bad listener to explain that when they interrupt, it breaks my focus?
communication conflict
asked 4 mins ago
foofoo
91
add a comment |
I have a colleague/friend who I need to get through to. This person has a habit (gotten worse) of interrupting my work (I encouraged it, by laughing it off since I avoid confrontation/office politics). In essence, we use a lot of paper (paperless isn’t a reality). They continually barge in when I am scanning/copying (my workspace is near the machines for a reason) to use the machine I am using.
It’s a problem because whenever they barge in it takes me out of my workflow. I can offer to do that portion of the work for them, but they then complain they have the world on their shoulders and if I really want to help I will just let them use the machine to their heart’s content...they make it sound like they have Elon Musk level pressure on them.
I want to talk to this person; but they are not great listeners, nor do they have a great attention span – they lose interest in general. Their attention span isn’t there for an actual conversation, unfortunately. Any non-superficial topic (ie not related to clothes, relationships, or clubs) is a nonstarter.
I don’t want to escalate the situation by going above anyone’s head (we’re both far below CEO). I probably wouldn’t win that political battle (and likely lose a friend). I’m also not very “quick on my feet” verbally. The person is extremely good at navigating social constructs, but they are terrible at adapting to changes. They know their job specifics, but can’t care about the rationale behind it; they know the “what”, but the “why” is irrelevant.
Since we have different personalities in this respect (I believe in training/communicating for 1 hour, they believe is complaining/struggling for 5 hours), I really feel the best way to address this problem is by speaking with them. **Is there any way to speak with them in a way that they will listen? **
I am concerned they will brush off the conversation, if they bother to listen at all. As things stand, I have to totally work around their whims. It is frustrating.
tldr: How do I talk with a colleague/friend who is a bad listener to explain that when they interrupt, it breaks my focus?
communication conflict
asked 4 mins ago
foofoo
91
add a comment |
I have a colleague/friend who I need to get through to. This person has a habit (gotten worse) of interrupting my work (I encouraged it, by laughing it off since I avoid confrontation/office politics). In essence, we use a lot of paper (paperless isn’t a reality). They continually barge in when I am scanning/copying (my workspace is near the machines for a reason) to use the machine I am using.
It’s a problem because whenever they barge in it takes me out of my workflow. I can offer to do that portion of the work for them, but they then complain they have the world on their shoulders and if I really want to help I will just let them use the machine to their heart’s content...they make it sound like they have Elon Musk level pressure on them.
I want to talk to this person; but they are not great listeners, nor do they have a great attention span – they lose interest in general. Their attention span isn’t there for an actual conversation, unfortunately. Any non-superficial topic (ie not related to clothes, relationships, or clubs) is a nonstarter.
I don’t want to escalate the situation by going above anyone’s head (we’re both far below CEO). I probably wouldn’t win that political battle (and likely lose a friend). I’m also not very “quick on my feet” verbally. The person is extremely good at navigating social constructs, but they are terrible at adapting to changes. They know their job specifics, but can’t care about the rationale behind it; they know the “what”, but the “why” is irrelevant.
Since we have different personalities in this respect (I believe in training/communicating for 1 hour, they believe is complaining/struggling for 5 hours), I really feel the best way to address this problem is by speaking with them. **Is there any way to speak with them in a way that they will listen? **
I am concerned they will brush off the conversation, if they bother to listen at all. As things stand, I have to totally work around their whims. It is frustrating.
tldr: How do I talk with a colleague/friend who is a bad listener to explain that when they interrupt, it breaks my focus?
communication conflict
asked 4 mins ago
foofoo
91
I have a colleague/friend who I need to get through to. This person has a habit (gotten worse) of interrupting my work (I encouraged it, by laughing it off since I avoid confrontation/office politics). In essence, we use a lot of paper (paperless isn’t a reality). They continually barge in when I am scanning/copying (my workspace is near the machines for a reason) to use the machine I am using.
It’s a problem because whenever they barge in it takes me out of my workflow. I can offer to do that portion of the work for them, but they then complain they have the world on their shoulders and if I really want to help I will just let them use the machine to their heart’s content...they make it sound like they have Elon Musk level pressure on them.
I want to talk to this person; but they are not great listeners, nor do they have a great attention span – they lose interest in general. Their attention span isn’t there for an actual conversation, unfortunately. Any non-superficial topic (ie not related to clothes, relationships, or clubs) is a nonstarter.
I don’t want to escalate the situation by going above anyone’s head (we’re both far below CEO). I probably wouldn’t win that political battle (and likely lose a friend). I’m also not very “quick on my feet” verbally. The person is extremely good at navigating social constructs, but they are terrible at adapting to changes. They know their job specifics, but can’t care about the rationale behind it; they know the “what”, but the “why” is irrelevant.
Since we have different personalities in this respect (I believe in training/communicating for 1 hour, they believe is complaining/struggling for 5 hours), I really feel the best way to address this problem is by speaking with them. **Is there any way to speak with them in a way that they will listen? **
I am concerned they will brush off the conversation, if they bother to listen at all. As things stand, I have to totally work around their whims. It is frustrating.
tldr: How do I talk with a colleague/friend who is a bad listener to explain that when they interrupt, it breaks my focus?
communication conflict
communication conflict
asked 4 mins ago
foofoo
91
asked 4 mins ago
foofoo
91
asked 4 mins ago
foofoo
91
asked 4 mins ago
foofoo
91
asked 4 mins ago
foofoo
91
91
add a comment |
add a comment |
0
active
oldest
votes
Your Answer
StackExchange.ready(function() {
var channelOptions = {
tags: "".split(" "),
id: "423"
};
initTagRenderer("".split(" "), "".split(" "), channelOptions);
StackExchange.using("externalEditor", function() {
// Have to fire editor after snippets, if snippets enabled
if (StackExchange.settings.snippets.snippetsEnabled) {
StackExchange.using("snippets", function() {
createEditor();
});
}
else {
createEditor();
}
});
function createEditor() {
StackExchange.prepareEditor({
heartbeatType: 'answer',
autoActivateHeartbeat: false,
convertImagesToLinks: false,
noModals: true,
showLowRepImageUploadWarning: true,
reputationToPostImages: null,
bindNavPrevention: true,
postfix: "",
imageUploader: {
brandingHtml: "Powered by u003ca class="icon-imgur-white" href="https://imgur.com/"u003eu003c/au003e",
contentPolicyHtml: "User contributions licensed under u003ca href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/"u003ecc by-sa 3.0 with attribution requiredu003c/au003e u003ca href="https://stackoverflow.com/legal/content-policy"u003e(content policy)u003c/au003e",
allowUrls: true
},
noCode: true, onDemand: true,
discardSelector: ".discard-answer"
,immediatelyShowMarkdownHelp:true
});
}
});
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
StackExchange.ready(
function () {
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fworkplace.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f126779%2fhow-do-i-speak-with-a-colleague-friend-who-is-a-bad-listener%23new-answer', 'question_page');
}
);
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
0
active
oldest
votes
0
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
Thanks for contributing an answer to The Workplace Stack Exchange!
- Please be sure to answer the question. Provide details and share your research!
But avoid …
- Asking for help, clarification, or responding to other answers.
- Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience.
To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers.
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
StackExchange.ready(
function () {
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fworkplace.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f126779%2fhow-do-i-speak-with-a-colleague-friend-who-is-a-bad-listener%23new-answer', 'question_page');
}
);
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Sign up or log in
StackExchange.ready(function () {
StackExchange.helpers.onClickDraftSave('#login-link');
});
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Sign up using Google
Sign up using Facebook
Sign up using Email and Password
Post as a guest
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
Required, but never shown
